I always complain about how lame married life must be and extol the refreshing freedom of being single (imagine a woman dancing on the beach after inserting the newest break through in tampon technology).  But the reality is I rarely go out or do the things that make being single so great, so I decided to go back to Hong Kong and see my grandparents.

If you have to make an overseas flight, Continental destroys AA and United. They now have over 600 movies and tv shows on demand. It’s fabulous. I squeezed off Quantum of Solace (edited with a hacksaw), Curse of the Golden Flower (tragic in the Chinese film tradition), and Fight Club (still a top 10 movie for me). Even though international travel has come a long ways, you are still essentially in a flying prison.

Here is my latest gripe about the TSA. I heard an announcement that says if you make ‘inappropriate’ jokes about them, it’s grounds for being arrested. What…the…f*ck? Those douches already masturbate every dribble of power to compensate for their miserable lives, and now that have a blank check to take it another level. And that’s on top them stealing every thing out of your suitcases without any recourse. It makes me so mad that I get constipated thinking about it.

The big new is swine flu.  Hong Kong has raised their threat level to DEFCON 30 and have been cleaning obsessively like everyone is on meth. Every two hours they disenfect door handles, elevator buttons, and even floor mats.  Everyone is wearing SARS masks.  it feels like a cross between a dentist and ninja convention.  This morning my mom ordered pigs blood for breakfast. I told her that was the equivalent of being too scared to step in a cab or 7-11 for fear of Arab terrorists, but then vacationing in Iraq. Her response was, “but some people don’t mind going to Iraq.”