09.01.2005
MAN PURSE //
What exactly does it mean for one to be "secure in his manhood?" Do guys say that as license to express themselves effeminately? As if by putting it out there they become immune to being given a hard time. So just because you tell people you like wearing your underpants on the outside doesn't make it anymore socially acceptable. In regards to fashion I saw it as an either/or. Either a guy flaunts that he can pull off something gay because he is so unquestionably masculine like Brad Pitt's pink robe in Fight Club, or he is just straight flaming. Lately I've taken to wearing an Eagle Creek Check Out Pouch. But let's call it what it really is: a man purse. Practically you can't beat it. I carry around sunglasses, passport, meds, and about 3 pounds of currency. Since I'm already holstered by a cell phone and wallet, the manbag makes perfect sense. Would I sport it in America? Heck no. I feel like one of those Hollywood stars that sells out for barrels of cash to make shamingly absurd commercials under the stipulation they will never see the light of day in America. So I see my metrosexual indiscretion falling into a third clause: I'm living in a foreign country and all of the girls think I'm retarded because I converse on a toddler's level so who cares? And how gay is a man purse in a culture where guys hold hands and interlock their fingers with friends? That's just different and wrong.



09.03.2005
POINT OF NO RETURN //
Today I woke up and I was 29. It felt like just the night before I was young and carefree. Now I'm not exactly old, but I found myself rubbing Bengay on hurts I didn't remember having. I'm not exactly old, but now I find myself standing on the edge of a precipice. Across a great expanse I see different possibilities for the rest of my life. Every destination is blurred and the path to each is tenuous and will crumble behind each step taken. Up until this morning life felt full of possibilities. But the difference today seems like there are no do overs, no take backs. I don't have the luxury of time to flirt with multiple career choices or life decisions. I'm not exactly old, but my friends years younger are life stages past me, past where I thought I would be at 29. I wouldn't say that I have a biological clock ticking. But I do feel like every day plus 29 years will have a deeper sense of loss and gravity and that maybe I'm taking a horribly wrong direction with my life because I'm still uncertain of what I want or am supposed to do with it. What does scare me a little is that tonight I will go to sleep and when I open my eyes I will be exactly old and regret that I allowed more than my friends to pass me by.



09.06.2005
VIVA LA 'MERICA! //
Contributed by iasthai
Class. Some people have it, others just don't. It's unfortunate when people and teams cannot act like gentlemen following a loss. It makes them look petty and downright childish. Congratulations to the US Men's National Soccer Team for qualifying for the 2006 World Cup in Germany by beating Mexico 2-0. (I hope they'll represent us well as they did in 02.) Shame on Mexico coach "Ricky" Ricardo Lavolpe for belittling a team that just shamed his team and country at their own sport. "The U.S. is a small team," he said. "They play like my sister, my aunt and my grandmother." What a classy guy. Can he really say that about the US team that has compiled a 7-2-1 record against Mexico since 2000? I'm sure their humiliating defeat in the last World Cup to us was like a slap in the face, but they can at least carry themselves with some dignity. For instance, when Texas beat Nebraska back in '98 to break a 47 home winning streak the Husker fans gave a standing ovation to Ricky Williams and chanted "Heisman!" as he left the field. That's class. Some people have it, others just don't get it.

09.08.2005
RECORD BREAKER //
So yesterday I presided on the throne of cleansing and truth no less than 6 times. I'm just saying. Curse you tasty lamb meat on a stick. But I'll be back, with the cattle prod of justice.



09.12.2005
CULTURE CLASH //
If you thought living in a foreign country would enrich an appreciation for your home culture rather than breed a disdain for your current one, you would be wrong. Granted there are several quirks about this country that scream genius, like the traffic lights have a timer that counts down to the light change- brilliant! (forget that everyone ignores traffic lights, or laws). But the strange ones stand out more than a white guy pantomiming that he wants to order kung pao chicken. I was riding my bike and saw a man on the sidewalk peeing. He was probably being polite by aiming towards a tree. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised as I was peeing in a public urinal to look up and have a direct line of sight with a woman watching me through the open door. I also love it when a car 1000 yards away or one creeping up behind you suddenly flashes their high beams and leans on his horn. When I say love, I mean I'd love to give them a round house kick in the kidney. The other day an environmentally conscious citizen saw that my bike was parked next to a ditch of garbage, and instead of the ground tossed his trash in my bike basket. And I like the fact that it's normal to hock a nice loogie, but please don't do it directly in front of where I'm walking, or indoors. More to come. So much more.



09.20.2005
BIRTHDAY SUITS //
I have been out of town for the past several days and along my travels I discovered the majesty of a spa. I have to say that I was a little uneasy when I heard that patrons were normally straight up buck naked. I'm not especially self-conscious about my body, but I don't have the white man's love for showing full frontal. The workers there look at you as if you were cattle to be tended to so after a few minutes it was no big deal and I shed my towel. Now, I'm as homophobic as your local Klan Grand Dragon, but after a few furtive sizing up glances at my friends, it was a non-issue. It was quite exhilarating languishing in 130 degree heat saunas where it feels like your face is literally melting, to plunging into 50 degree cold pools, where I suspect I became infertile. They even had a mini-gym to work out in the nude. As comfortable as I was getting used to seeing others in only their skin, I did diligently focus on not watching my friends bounce around on the treadmill.



09.24.2005
EXPATRIATION //
Being an ex-pat, I thought the biggest adjustment would be living in a new culture. I didn't realize the challenges coming with not living in my own old culture especially in the wake of Katrina and Rita. Friends here have expressed a high level of disconnectedness living abroad during 911. I find that I have experienced the same thing when I'm reading through CNN.com about what's going on back home in Houston. Not being a part of it there makes it seem almost unreal when all I get are snatches of filtered accounts. Right now my parents are sitting at home waiting it out because they tried to evacuate too late and couldn't get out of town due to the traffic and gas shortage. While dark storm clouds loom over their house and they are worried about having enough fresh water, the sun shines brightly here and I worry about how to keep my place cool. I'm beginning to understand more that the longer one lives in a foreign country doesn't make you more a part of its culture but more distant from your own.



09.26.2005
SELECTIVE PRAYER //
The other night in the shower I suddenly realized that after days of worrying about my parents over hurricane Rita, I had not prayed once about it. It exposed my theology in regards to what I believe the Lord will or won't do from prayer. There has never been a question of can. I accept it as pure fact that the Lord can effortlessly calm the storms, just like Jesus could've laid the hurt on the Romans. He chose not to exercise his power that way, just like I believe he rarely chooses to operate in the supernatural anymore. I will pray for forgiveness, sanctification, thanksgiving, and for His will to be done because the Bible is clear that we should pray for those things. But I don't invoke Him as the Great Physician because it would feel like I'm trying to impose my hopes and will when I don't have the faintest clue of His mind blowingly complex loving plan. And I think that's why I don't pray for miracles and why I didn't pray for my parents' safety or for Rita to inexplicably subside. While I do think it was a minor miracle Rita moved East (Port Arthur would disagree), I doubt prayers shifted the storms. People are born, get sick and die. Tragedy will always be a part of life. But God's love remains immutable regardless of how I deem circumstances or how I want Him to act. I just don't pray for miracles. It's why I'll never pray for a wife.