05.31.2007
WEEKLY DIGG //
15 unforgettable cartoon theme songs. If you didn't think He-Man was gay as a kid, you will now.

Google's full potential will be unlocked in 20 years.

Here is a cautionary tale of hanging out in your backyard. You could get attacked by a dog and beaten by the cops.

A bunch of magazine ads from the good old days. It was a simpler time.

It's a little geeky, but in a few simple steps you can web surf faster.



05.29.2007
IN MEMORIAL //
For most of my life Memorial Day carried as much meaning for me as Labor Day. It was just a day off from school that I equated more with BBQs or summer blockbuster movies. It's started to become somewhat of a tradition for me to honor the day by watching all 10 hours of Band of Brothers and reflect on the men who sacrificed so much so that I can live in ease and freedom. If you've never watched it before I can't recommend anything higher.



05.27.2007
HOME ALONE //
For most guys, living alone is cost prohibitive. But actually so is dating, except that you're infinitely more likely to see 3 guys cram into a 1-1 before giving up a chance to blow $50 on the Olive Garden and two tickets to Songs and Lyrics.

Since my last roommate just moved out and got married a couple weeks ago, I find myself living by myself for the first time in almost a decade. I've re-learned a few things about myself in that time: All I really need is 1 bowl, 1 plate, 1 pair of chopsticks, a cup and a spoon. Since I work from home I can go days without speaking except to mumble expletives at video games I'm playing or when I talk to my birds like a crazy person. You hardly have to ever do laundry when all you wear all day are whitie tighties or just your own skin. Awesome for me, probably not for my neighbors because I leave all of my windows open at night to cool my place down.



05.23.2007
WEEKLY DIGG //
How exactly are you supposed to play soccer on this field?

Here is a trailer for the new Rambo movie and it's definitely R-rated. Why would Rambo break someone's neck when that's so pedestrian. He'd rather sneak up from behind and literally rip your throat out.

If you felt Season 3 of Lost was a little disjointed because of the hiatus, here is a very Gen Y recap.

The secret behind the Great Pyramids.

For you into old school NES, you know that Contra was impossible without up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-a-b-ba. This guy does in on one life.

Here are 5 ridiculous inventions including the Twirl-a-Squirrel.



05.21.2007
LOVE THYSELF //
I was just in another wedding for the second weekend in a row. I try to make it a habit of sticking around the guys since the bridesmaids are typically complete strangers. At the rehearsal dinner, because of poor planning I found myself at the end of the table flanked by two chicks. I resigned myself to an evening of listening to conversations about scented candles and make up. But we were at a steak house, so the only way I was going to salvage the evening was to bide my time and vulture the inevitable meaty leftovers.

If you don't know me, I find most girls boring. Does that make me some kind of chauvinist? The manliest kind. So I was shocked that I was enjoying a conversation with one of the girls. I started clowning one of the guys for ordering his steak medium and she said that it was pointless to get it anyway besides medium rare and sometime rare just in case. Stock up. But when our steaks came out she reached for the A1. Stock down. A1 is like taking Monet and then peeing on it. But then after trying some of my au jus she got some herself. Stock up. And then not only did she patience my 2 minute lecture on different cuts of steak, she took a picture of the diagram I was referencing. Of course I immediately stopped talking to her for the rest of the weekend so as not to shatter this dizzying fairytale.

This whole thing just reaffirmed to me that guys are extremely narcissistic and are just attracted to other guys but with boobs. If at that moment she told me she could drive stick and could speak Klingon I would've thrown her down right there on the table. Which would've been awkward because I get gun shy just using a urinal when someone is watching.



05.20.2007
MILE HIGH //
There is a special fraternity that one enters into from an event that takes place in the bathroom of a plane. My journey began the morning I was flying out from Ohio last week. I stopped off at a Steak and Shake before boarding. I don't know if was the shock to my system from my fast food ban, or that the minimum wage 17 year old didn't bother washing his hands after a toilet break. Whatever the reason, 2 hours later there was a Rumble in the Bronx. As much as I tried to fight it, I ended up joining the less glamorous Mile High Club: diarrhea at 35,000 feet.

For someone that strategizes how he eats his food and who managed a whole year without using a squattie pottie in China due to obsessive planning, laying cable anywhere but home is a serious issue. As I sat in a 2x2 compartment purging the contents of my bowels as my anus was burning with the heat of a 1000 suns, I reflected on how valuable home court advantage is. You don't have to worry that there are 100 people right outside the door who can hear you grunt as if you were birthing a honey baked ham. You don't have to endure the shame of the person waiting in line to admire the remnants of your handiwork. And at home, your bathroom doesn't rock back and forth. It was like an exhilarating rollercoaster ride only the exact opposite.

05.16.2007
WEEKLY DIGG //
Bears eat beets. Bears beet Battlestar Galactica. But cat pwns bear.

I always knew Scientology was ridiculous. Just not this ridiculous. Here is the secret knowledge that only the higest levels of its member learn. It's stunning.

I always thought not using my car's a/c saved gas. That's just one of four gas saving myths.

Last week's Lost had a ton of crazy fodder with the introduction of the ethereal Jacob. Here's a pretty interesting theory that ties everything together.

A college student guesses on a 100 question true or false test and scores a zero.

For you Firefox users, here's a bunch of tricks including speeding it up.

Man chainsaws his own head off.



05.11.2007
AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN //
I've gone off about reality tv before, but I think The Bachelor has to be the crown jewel on the reality tv dung heap. I've caught snatches of it here and there between commercials but the other night my roommate and I recorded it and decided to make a drinking game out of it. Every time he says the word "amazing" (we really should have stopped right there), take a drink. Every time he uttered a cliche (I had my cup on my lips whenever he about to speak), take a drink, and so on.

One of the hometown dates took place in my hometown. Of course the opening shot was of a cow, because everyone in Texas has cattle in their backyards. For an entertaining in depth recap of the show check out ESPN's Sports Gal's blog on it. There are strong hints that they found unlawful carnal knowledge of the hot tubular nature. And at the end of the show he dumped her because she was too young. To that she tearfully pleaded, "But that's not what you said at the hot tub!" That's- what's the word I'm looking for? Amazing.



05.09.2007
WEEKLY DIGG //
It's common knowledge how everything is ripped off in China. But in the grand daddy of all knock offs, the government has made a fake Disney World. The operators insist that their Minnie Mouse is actually "a cat with very large ears."

Two armed men try to rob a house with an 11 year old girl. They did not survive.

Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously similar movie showdown.

A lot has been made of Paris Hilton going to jail, which will end up being a "5 star" prison that is known as a "self-pay" jail where inmates are referred to as clients. If you thought she was a loser, read an open letter to the Govanator by a fan who compares her to Nixon.

K-Mart bacon. Might be too lean for my tastes.

You know you're in college if... You also know you're old if half of this wasn't possible when you went to college like me.

A judge sues a dry cleaner for $67M because they lost a pair of pants. He needs this kind of spiritual awakening.

For any of you who still doubt that people are morons: Lottery winner ends up living off of Social Security.

Is this is a photo or a painting?

Proof that Google is sexist.



05.02.2007
WEEKLY DIGG //
This guy lives in the dream home he built himself: a 96 sq/ft house.

There are thousands of articles and blog posts on the DRM software key for HD DVD and Blu RAy. Here's a short article on it.

China might have a problem with hiding some of these realities during the Olympics. These photos look like they are 50 years old. Um, no.

Not all morons reside in the USA. Woman gets tricked into sex. Man convinces her that he needs to administer ointment using his penis as an applicator. Woman wises up after 9 months.

Drunk man rides his horse into a bank.

10 really bizarre deaths, including the King of Sweden who ate himself to death.

At my first job at a financial company, Casual Friday was a perk. At Google they get stuff like their own barbers.

These are a list of some ridiculous lawsuits. One of them has a man who sued himself.

8 important lessons learned from 80's cartoons.

For those of you who need a US Weekly gossip fix- 20 celebrity drug coffesions. Colin Farrell's is insane. I don't know how his liver has exploded.

Here are the top current NBA salaries. Allan Houston is #2 and right now he's works for ESPN as a tv analyst.



05.01.2007
TO LIVE AND DIE IN LA (PT 3 of 3) //
I've tried to be subtle in my last couple of posts, but if you can read between the lines- I hate LA. There are a lot of things I don't like (e.g. traffic, prices), but nothing enflames my sense of injustice like having to pay for parking; especially in a city with much more real estate vs the ultra urban NYC.

Ate at a diner- $5 to park in an alley. Ate at diner #2- $7 for mandatory valet parking. Park at a mall- $3 (which is supposedly the best deal in town). Park in a shopping center- $20! But the worst was parking at the Holiday Inn that we stayed at cost $20/day not including the tip for every time we used the car.

It ain't right. It's like paying to use a bathroom and then getting charged again to flush after taking a dump. That's why I never flush. My friend says that paying for parking is just one of those things you get used to. To that I say nay, because once we've done that then the terrorists have already won.