05.28.2008
WEEKLY DIGG //
Hyper-vigilance can also double as hyper-dumbass.

See above.

Fantastic apology. It's sort of like how I tell girls I'm sorry that they are so sensitive.

Revenge of the nerd.

This kid get exactly what he deserves: getting stomped in the nads when you're down.

Check out these insane gas prices from around the world. Ranges from over $10/gallon the 12 f***ing cents.

Websites from before the internet existed.

25 ways to know that you are grown up (read:old).

If baseball players on roids wasn't extreme enough for you, here are bodybuilders on roids.

Medical terms doctors use to clown you behind your back.

More acting lessons with James Franco.



05.25.2008
STEAMED //
Like any red blooded American I have materialistic fantasies. I'd like to own a house with a walk in humidor, car wash shower, sauna and especially a urinal. That's the dream. This weekend I've unexpectedly been treated to one as my a/c crapped out.

The last couple of days my thermostat has touched 87 degrees. For no good reason I really haven't been eating meals. If I continue to sweat away the pounds it won't be long until I need a belt to hold my underwear up. You know it's hot when you sweat while taking a dump.

UPDATE:
My apartment complex finally had a guy come in to fix it. It was glorious. Even with my a/c set at 83 it felt cold compared to before. But a few hours later it was blowing hot air again. And of course since it's Memorial Day, no one is working. So after 3 days of no sleep I said, "f*** it." I snuck downstairs at 6am and dismantled the unit and found an ant colony in there mucking up the electronics. Using sophisticated tools (leaves and twigs) I managed to repair it. This is a manly moment for me. Bask with me.



05.21.2008
WEEKLY DIGG //
For those of you who somehow missed Bill O'Reilly's old Inside Edition tirade on the YouTubes, check out Stephen Colbert's version of it.

Here's a list of accessories that make you really cool. And by cool I mean deuchey.

This poor Jap idol is unknowingly being exploited by these stealthy pervs. If she knew what they were doing I'm sure she would be outraged.

Somehow this Stormtrooper got lost on his way to a Star Wars con and ended up at a...FurryCon.

These are some child prodigies that will make you feel like a moron. But take solace that they are in all likelihood kind of a dick. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.



05.14.2008
WEEKLY DIGG //
Would you rather own a castle or crappy house?

This is what happens when stupid people try to do the right thing.

Redneck swimset.

If Nintendo made Halo 3.

This Asian chick is so stroked about get tax rebate that she spontaneously sprouted a mutant arm.

This isn't a BS post on a forum. This is from a FAQ that some genius supposes is a frequenly asked question.

Erupting volcano + lightning storm.

Sushi is just getting more and more adventurous.

Check out the cost of being an early adopter.

I generally hold that cats are demon spawn, but these are pretty funny.



05.09.2008
RECENT ADDITION //
I spent the last week back in Houston. My sister surprised me by popping out another baby. I stayed at my parents' house who are away in Hong Kong and it took sleeping pills and ninja concentration to not think about what happens in that bed of theirs.

Everyday I picked up my niece and nephew from daycare and babysitted them until dinner. The Mr. Mom thing is kind of fun but the thought of doing it 24 hours X 7 days X 20 years ^ 3 kids + my body that's equivalent to an 80 year old man that's been kicked by a horse = all the confirmation I need that I will never have kids of my own, that I know of.

My newest niece is named Kaytee, which is confusing because that's the name of one of my birds, which is confusing because that bird is a male. The first time I held Kaytee she took a dump all over my clothes (yes she was wearing a diaper). The best way I can describe it is "mustardy." The second time my sister and brother in law were out running errands. I was playing Wii with Payton, reading a book to Sydney, and trying to feed Kaytee so I didn't notice when she once again made a grunt sculpture all over me.

The lesson you can take away from this is that if you are constitpated just have a seat on my lap. In no time you'll have the brown barbarians pounding at the gates. Apparently I have that effect.



05.08.2008
WEEKLY DIGG //
Here is insult to injury. Maybe this will teach him to not be drunk. Probably not.

Homeless 007.

I guess if you are going to be stupid, go big.

Having fun with an African email scammer.

Wow, Scientology really does sound attractive.

Korean girls love a good psi-storm.

The first digital camera. Maybe I'd get more dates if I kept it in my pocket.

Here is a breakdown of how the average American spends.

Now this is a grade A mullet. Or rather a first place one.

Nothing says America like flag patterned shirts and patriotic signage.

What lurks in the heart of a cat.