Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Homeless man's Indiana Jones

// The skinny: Adrenaline junkie and archaeologist Lara Croft discovers an ancient clock one day. This leads to a competitive race against the Illuminati over a relic with God-like powers.

// Review: Some video games are not meant to be a movie like Super Mario Brothers (did anyone see John Leguzamo as the Italian plumber?). Tomb Raider was a no brainer: highly successful adventure franchise whose tradmark character has ridiculous DDD's.

/ This movie wasn't bad. But it wasn't particularly good either. There are 3 major action set pieces including her mansion, and locations in Siberia and Thailand where the halves of the artifact were hidden. They are loud with a bunch of explosions, the main ingredients for a mindless summer flick.

/ The plot makes no logical sense whatsoever. Every 5000 years when the planets are aligned there is an extremely miniscule window to assemble this uber powerful relic. In the wrong hands (The Illuminati), it could spell disaster. The problem is the eclipse is happening and they have no idea at all how to find the relic.

/ Enter Lara Croft. After she discovers the plan, she tries to assemble the artifact so she can destroy it. It would've been easier and more effective to just do nothing. The only thing I found remotedly interesting was Daniel Craig's surprisingly high pitched American accent and the fact Jon Voigt was in it playing Angelina Jolie's dad when I thought she hated his guts. One thing I'll give this movie credit for: they do a pretty good job of showcasing her jaw dropping body.

// Wrap up: At 3am in high def, when the rodeo was on ESPN, Tomb Raider make for passable entertainment. If you are thinking about renting it, don't. If you bought a ticket for it when it came out way back when, then shame.

Entertainment rating: 2