5 ridiculous gun myths everyone believes (thanks to movies)
The 10 most important things they didn’t teach you in school
What it’s like to own an Apple product
The three most common uses of irony
What happens to your body when you drink a Coke
“The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.” -Henry Mencken
The power of makeup.
Girls drivers, not a stereotype.
How low are these prices?
I’m sure it was just an innocent typo.
“Die magical water snake!”
What your email address says about you.
Pictures caught at the right moment.
Ways to be cool.
What princesses can teach us.
Someone key this immediately.
The male angler fish is boned.
It’s the same old news.
The sad reality of Ronald McDonald.
I just flew back from Hong Kong sitting next to a pair of Chinese Septuagints. Not too bad. You may be thinking, “But wait. Didn’t you have to deal swamp gas breath and lung coughing hocking?” Well yes, but I also got to rip about two dozen farts over 14 hours with immunity and no one was the wiser.
I caught up on some movie watching as well.
Book of Eli: Taking a bratty teenager across an apocalyptic wasteland is always a bad idea; no matter how hot Mila Kunis is.
Sherlock Holmes: I dug Guy Ritchie’s frenetic take on the original World’s Greatest Detective. But RDJR made the movie.
Wolverine: Origins: Dumb and empty. Should’ve been called Hugh Jackman: Shirtless.
Star Trek: JJ Abrams creates the perfect remake. I’m dreading A-Team even more now.
My 20 year old cousin has been staying with us in Hong Kong. I had this exchange with her the other night:
Me: So do you keep in touch with your cousin?
Her: Not really. Only when I’m in Hong Kong. She’s thirtysomething. I don’t think she even has a facebook page.
Me: Thirtysomething?
Her: Yeah that’s old.
Me: I’m thirtysomething.
Her: I know. You’re old.
Me: (sobbing quietly in the bathroom)
the obligatory shot of flowers and mountains
deep as in elbow high
ho artistic
this spiral tower sprang out of nowhere
almost to the top…
…and, I’m spent
the view from the top
all these dishes and still no HD signals
The story: I ran out of space on my camera so I sat down on a bench to delete some pictures. After about 20 seconds my legs started to burn. I looked down and saw them blanketed with what I thought were little black gnats. Wrong. They were dozens of hopped up viagra mosquitoes that got their motherf***ing rape on. I thought about posting a photo but it’s pretty gruesome. I have north of 110 bites. If you are really curious just google “radiation burns” and you’ll get the idea. Then a short while later I saw this:
in a word: fuuuuuuuuuu*k
As I type this I can feel the Dengue coursing through my veins granting me strange and wondrous powers. I expect that in the next 72 hours I’ll either become a crime fighting super hero or just think I am from the encephalitis induced insanity.
On the way to having lunch at Victoria’s Peak we saw this spa called Wonderfish. You sit on the edge of a tub filled with hundreds of Garra Rufa fish for 30 minutes as they nibble away at the dead skin from your feet and hands. For the first few minutes it’s extremely ticklish and a very odd experience watching fish feast away on you. In the end you feel baby skin soft.
Unlearn all that you have learned. Everything that you knew to be real is fake- tv, movies, the moon landing, H1N1, breasts. The only thing that you can trust is that you will grow old and you will die…and you look utterly ridiculous singing in the car.
I like being alone but not necessarily solitude. When your only human interaction is with sitcoms and dramas your grip on reality begins to slide away. Soon you think that any dilemma can be hilariously solved in 22 minutes and you begin to expect to see a murder or death ever 45. One of the huge upsides of Hong Kong to me is how easily you can get lost in a crowd; to brush up against thousands of people and remain completely anonymous. I’ve started taking to riding the local buses. My favorite are the ding ding ches (electric trams named for their ringing bells). For 25 cents I can crisscross through the hearts of the busiest avenues of the city for hours watching people rush around as if they were fleeing from the scene of a crime. Sometimes it’s not so great because it can become unbearably humid in these open air cabins and you have to deal with an armpit to the face. My highlight the other day was spying some guy very openly checking out two school girls (It wasn’t me I swear. I’m much more discreet).
